My Husband Doesn't Jog

Ran 2 point 2 miles this morning.

Well, I shouldn't use the word "ran" because I jog...and not fast either.
I've been jogging on and off for about 7 years now and have always been a 2 - 2 and a half mile girl. Sometimes on weekends I push it to 3, but anything beyond that, I get bored with trying to convince myself that running is fun. I like to run because it burns calories and fast. It makes me sweat and sweating makes me visualize the pounds of fat just melting away! Jogging has never come easy to me though, no matter how much I do it. I lose my breath within the first few minutes and I feel the pressure of double my body weight hitting the pavement with every step. I don't have athletic legs and the jiggle sensation in my backside within the first half mile reminds me that I've got some junk in the trunk! But somehow (mind over matter) my body begins to go a little numb, my breathing eases and with the support of motivating music playing loudly in my ears, I am able to push through my two point two!
I am proud of being able to jog two miles. One would think I'd completed a 26 mile marathon the way I pat my own back after a run. I just love the way it makes me feel! It puts me in a better mood and just simply creates a higher quality day.

My husband doesn't jog. He is fit because he is a dedicated construction worker and not a couch potato. Currently, he's a smoker with plans to give it up since he's got a quitter wife.

The time changed this week.

It's dark when I wake up. Pitch black with stars in fact.

I got a little freaked out my first time hitting the pavement since turning the clocks forward. I live in a good neighborhood. I’ve never been afraid to take a jog by myself with music blaring in my ears. I’ve never been afraid of saying good morning to strangers either. But suddenly, I’m old and afraid of the dark. I jogged with only one earphone in so I could hear any crazies approaching me from behind. I jogged faster than usual so I could get home and feel safe. I told my husband that I was afraid of the dark. He laughed a little but then said he’d come with me until the sun started to rise earlier.

I have the best husband on Earth.

So I tease,

“You sure you can keep up with me smoker boy?”

“I don’t know, we’ll see.” He replies. “I don’t have anything to wear. I need some sweats.”

So I found him some old boy sweats I had in my closet that would fit him…sort of.

“I don’t have good sneakers,” he says.

“Why don’t you just take your bike and ride while I jog? You’ve never jogged 2 miles anyways. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”
I laugh.

He’s not amused.

We wake up this morning at 5:30. I say “Are you ready?”

“Yep!” He leaps out of bed like he’s about to go on a tropical vacation, not a jog.

OK, so we’re jogging. He’s keeping up with my fairly slow pace.

He’s talking.

I can’t even breathe.

How the hell can he be talking??!?!?!??!

Now he’s singing. Mother f’er. Excuse my language, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t think it.

He’s humming to “Eye of the Tiger” like he’s F’ing Rocky Balboa!

I’m still just trying to breathe.

He’s running backwards now, looking at me. Still humming....

My husband doesn’t jog, did I mention that?

“OK, please don’t show off.” I say.

He laughs and continues the remainder of the 2 miles with me... at my fairly slow pace. He makes it the whole way without taking a break to walk. I'm very impressed because in all honesty, I really didn't think he could do it! I’m proud of him; although maybe a tad jealous that it appears to come so easy to some people, like my husband. So after I say “Nice job honey!” and slap him a high five, I ask,

“Was it really THAT easy for you? Because you certainly made it look that way.”

He admitted that it wasn’t. He said his lungs hurt and that he looks forward to jogging with me again after he gives up the smokes. He said he just kept saying to himself,

“I can do this…..I can’t let my lady beat me.”

So I felt better at least knowing that he wasn’t a natural born athlete, but rather just a competitive alpha male that didn’t want to be outdone by his wife!

Like I said in the beginning, jogging has never come easy to me. Quite the contrary; it’s hard for me; really, really hard! But it’s also really worth it. And I am very appreciative of my wonderful husband who is willing to go the distance with me to make me feel happy and safe. I will try my best to not take his kind gestures for granted and to not get jealous of his physical ability.

But you can bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow morning......
I’m jogging alone and bringing mace.

Please note: My husband and I never resort to name calling and I have never literally called him a Mother F’er…. I love him.

THE END