I thought peer pressure was something we were only supposed to experience when we were teenagers. But it has been made very clear to me that my thoughts are wrong about that. What is it about the nature of a human that makes us feel entitled to give our thoughts and opinions about someone else's decisions when we aren’t even asked? I am quite sure I have been guilty of it myself, but in light of recent events, am just as sure that I will make every effort possible in the future to butt out!
I spent entirely too much time in the past couple of weeks defending my lifestyle; which is crazy considering that I am not living an even somewhat “alternative” lifestyle! I’m in the mainstream, basically conforming to what society might consider normal! OK, I can just picture my friends rolling on the floor laughing at that one! I guess I may be exaggerating “normal” because privately, those closest to me know that my free spirit may land parts of me in the “alternative” lifestyle category defined by some. But for the most part, I don’t feel like I am living to such an extreme where I need guidance from the wise ones who think they know which direction I should be headed in. I’m pretty sure that in some instances, I might just know what is best for ME! Two instances in two days in which I had to defend…
Instance number ONE:
I gave up drinking recently. Not permanently, but perhaps indefinitely. I’ve been defining indefinite as being “temporary and until further notice.” But the mainstream doesn’t like that definition. The mainstream wants it defined. They want to know what, when, where, how and why. So here it is….defined:
The WHAT…. When I drink, I drink too much. Hangovers suck and I’m sick of it.Drinking inhibits my ability to make good decisions, to quit smoking and to live a healthier lifestyle.
The WHEN….. I’ve been in party mode for most of my adult life.
The WHERE…Every concert, every house warming, every birthday party, every camping trip, every happy hour, every holiday gathering, every celebration, every vacation, here, there and every freaking’where.
The HOW……Baby steps. Step one, 40 days and 40 nights. Thereafter? The answer will be.....Until further notice.
The WHY…… Both my body and my spirit are telling me to.
And to those who question and resist, it makes me feel disheartened, and so I ask;
The WHAT….We are friends WAY beyond drinking buddies, aren’t we?
The WHERE…Every concert, every house warming, every birthday party, every camping trip, every happy hour, every holiday gathering, every celebration, every vacation, here, there and every freaking’where……….am I wrong?
The WHEN….will there ever be an occasion when I won’t have to explain why there isn’t a beer in my hand?
The HOW….I won’t be dropping out of life and I hope you will be able to see that I am still me.
The WHY…. Peer pressure in my 30’s? Seriously?
Instance number TWO:
I am 99% positive that one child is enough for me. I had my son when I was 25 and he is almost 11 years old. I met the man of my dreams two and a half years ago and we were married this past October. My husband has embraced his instant family with open arms and is a wonderful step father. My son respects my husband and their relationship continues to grow as they learn acceptance of one another. My husband doesn’t have any children of his own and doesn’t have a desperate desire to reproduce. We have discussed having more children and the fact that I am almost certain that I don’t want any more. He supports that and has made it clear to me that it is OK with him. So why is it that people try to convince him that he actually DOES want children of his own? Why is it that people can’t comprehend that two adults in their 30’s who decide to get married might not take the next natural step and reproduce more humans? Why is it that some people will even go as far as to try and convince a child that he DOES want a baby brother or sister even when he clearly states that he does NOT? What is so wrong with being an only child? My son seems to like it and has always stood strong in stating that he actually prefers it.
I absolutely love being a mom, to ONE child. And I don’t think that I am crazy for not wanting any more, but I am going to start going crazy if I have to defend my position on the subject one more time. My family is fine the way it is right now. It is a personal decision to choose to bring another life into this world and there is a 1% chance I may. But we will decide together as a family under the guidance of God, not under the pressure of the masses.
For us as we are right now; me, the hubby, the tween and the shih-tzu….
It’s happily ever after….
The DARE program teaches kids clever things to say when they are being peer pressured and since the necessity has arisen for me at the ripe age of 36, I’ve been practicing one liners that might get people to keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves. Like when I’m asked “Why aren’t you drinking anymore?” I could say something like “It’s against my new religion,” Or maybe when people ask “When are you guys having a baby?” I could lie and say “my husband’s shooting blanks.” It’s sad to say but it might be a lot easier for me to lie rather than try and convince the mainstream that MY truth is worthwhile.