Ready, Set, ACTION!

Had a light-bulb moment the other day while catching up on my recorded shows (love my DVR). I was watching Oprah; A live special for the 10th anniversary of O Magazine. She had her "Dream Team" on which consisted of Dr. Phil, who shaved off his mustache on live tv; Susie Orman, who's voice I consider to be a personal pet peeve; Nate Berkus who is welcome to decorate my world any day and Dr. Oz, who is a pretty stinkin' smart feller!

Oprah had her dream team reflect on the articles they wrote for her 10th anniversary addition of 'O'. The articles talked about the 10 things they knew for sure. When Oprah asked Dr. Oz what the top thing he knew for sure was he said that motivation comes from action! He always hears people say "If I could just find the motivation to do this or that....."

But what he knows for sure is that you have to take action. Start doing this and that and the motivation to continue doing it will follow!

LIGHTBULB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How true is THAT????

Don't we all have things on our "TO DO" list that we are waiting for the motivation to accomplish? I mean don't get me wrong, I know sometimes you have to be in the mood to do certain things.

Like cleaning toilets for instance. Not something where "action" gets you excited for next time. But like exercise........
The hardest part for me is making the decision to go and then putting my sneakers on. After those two things, it's cake. And then if you keep it up, even if you don't want to, suddenly it starts to become a habit. Suddenly you feel better. you have more confidence. maybe you're even dropping a couple pounds. And VWA...LAA! Motivation has suddenly landed at your doorstep.

It's not magic.

It doesn't come natural.

Motivation comes from ACTION!

And so pre-puberty begins....

I watched my son walk down the trail from school toward my awaiting mom mobile as I have done hundreds of times over the years. But this time was different. In his hands was a small book that he flipped through as he walked. He wore a somewhat foreign grin on his face; a look I have not seen yet in the 11 years of being this boys mother.

He gets in the car and his foreign grin morphed into something even more foreign and almost scary. An expression that showed a mixture of playful, vicious, tricky, curious and Shrek Donkey like! Or maybe that donkey on Hee-Haa.

Just wierd....

So I say, "What's up? How was your day?"

He flashes a page of his little book at me.

An illustrated picture of a male body.

Side view....

Naked.

Penis.

Oh boy.

This explains the expression on my boy's face. Discover your body day at school.

Before I go on, I must say that my son and I have already had the age appropriate discussion about body parts and sex. I am proud of the relationship we have and his comfort level with talking to me about things. I try my very best to keep the lines of communication open and not look or act shocked when he says things like.....

"We learned about ejaculation and wet dreams today. Those are two things you never told me about Mom..."

Talk about a kid making his mother blush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
50 shades of red in like a mili-second....

I very quickly reminded myself that I want my son to be able to talk to me about anything and to act shocked in this moment will only embarrass him and make him reluctant to feel free to discuss whatever is on his mind.

"Well Tyler, thank goodness for school because they can teach you things I may forget to mention." I say.

But what I am really thinking is "Isn't the fact that I answered your question about masturbation 6 months ago good enough to cover me for the next century???!!!!"

So I listened with an open mind as he talked about his male parts and what they do and about male hygiene and how it's time for him to start wearing deodorant. He shows me the little sample they gave him in his "Discover your body" gift bag.

Old spice.

Why? Oh why....did it have to be old spice? I'd hate to be the teacher in the 5th grade classroom today after all those little boys put on Grandpa pit juice.

Anyway, I think I did pretty well listening and responding to my son, even though I was mortified and quite uncomfortable, I don't think it showed. The common phrase I use with my son is:

"Information is not Permission." (I think I'll patent that!)

So this helps me get through really tough questions, like the one about masturbation. But nothing could prepare a mother for being asked a question like the one which ended last nights discussion...

"Mom, ejaculation is what boys do. But girls do something similar, it's called an orgasm right? But how does that happen when they just kind of lay there?"

I told him we would revisit that question at a WAY later date.

WAY, WAY, WAY later................

the Universe wants me to have a biscuit

I believe in the law of attraction; What you think about, comes about. Recently I went out to breakfast and ordered the wrong thing. I got pancakes. As I walked out of the diner my eyes landed on a plate of biscuits and gravy. It's the favorite I always forget about. I was disappointed that I hadn't ordered it myself and too stuffed on pancakes to even think about round two. So I left...biscuit-less.

Since that morning, visions of fluffy buttery biscuits have danced in my head. Driving down the street I passed a McDonalds and in the same way Homer Simpson says "MMMMM, Donuts," I loudly and proudly pronounced, "MMMMMM, Biscuits." They're good there. You know where else they're good? KFC. dip em' in a little mashed potato gravy....Yum.

It has been a long ass time since I've had a biscuit.

A biscuit almost slapped me in the face at the supermarket yesterday.

I was talking with a friend last night, just bull-shitting about this and that when suddenly she is describing in detail what she made for desert the night before. Strawberry shortcake. Not made with Angel food or pound cake....but with biscuits. I let her describe to me how big they were. I listened as she told me that each biscuit had 10 grams of saturated fat. As bad as that is, all I could do was drool as I visualized a glob of melted butter and perhaps some sugar full grape jelly on top.

Can't you just taste it? I can.

I can feel the saturated fat dripping down my chin....

I get to the office this morning and I am greeted by my coworker and friend Elizabeth. We were chatting about last night dinner. I made meatloaf and squash. She made chicken and completed the meal with a leftover BISCUIT!

I got goosebumps...

She had me at biscuit....

The Universe is speaking to me loud and clear.

I am just waiting for a big ol' biscuit to come walking through my door any minute.

And I'm gonna eat it.