I woke up at 3:00 am and was unable to fall back to sleep. I was in “think” mode. I was thinking about my friends and how different we all are. I was thinking of the group dynamic and how it has changed over the years; how I've changed. I thought about the Ya Ya Sisters Movie, an Episode of Desperate Housewives and about going to my son's middle school orientation...yep, a little scattered brained, I know, but most of my thoughts in the whee hours of this morning were about my friends. I wondered about other ya ya groups of friends and how they compare in relation to mine.
I think that a lot of women are going to be able to relate to this, especially if you have a group of crazy people friends like I do, but here it goes….the diverse list of friends I think we all have, or have had at one time or another in our lives.....
She’s got a college degree, a full time job, a husband and little kids. She goes to church on Sunday, hosts elaborate parties for her extended family and teaches an art class twice a week. She plans vacations, makes dinner every night, reads night time stories to her babies and still managers to give it up to her horny husband at least once a day! She lets loose about once a month with a bottle of wine and a marlboro red (hey, I said she was an over-achiever, not a Saint). Conversations with her are always meaningful and motivating, but often include loud child like noises in the background.
THE MODERN ITALIAN STYLE MRS. CLEAVER
She’s the stay at home Mom who’s house is modest but clean and adorable. She is a dedicated wife and mother. She hosts every holiday with yummy dishes made from scratch without a recipe. She’s loud and amusing but it’s not too often you’ll hear her swear. Conversations with her are good for your spirit and always end with her saying "Love You!"
EVERYONE’S BEST FRIEND
This is the go to girl. If you need anything at all, you go to her. Need a dog sitter or someone to watch your kids? Need someone to coordinate a party or provide a helping hand? Need to simply vent to someone who will agree with what you say? The go to girl! She’s single and available. In the mood for a spur of the moment happy hour? She’s your girl. She’s always got a good joke and has a really big heart. Often spreading herself too thin, I personally feel protective of this one. Sometimes people who are everyone’s best friend get taken advantage of. Of course not by me. Conversations with her are endless, deep and full of laughter.
THE “DEFINED BY MY MAN, MY MONEY AND MY BODY” FRIEND.
She’s got fake boobs and you’ve never seen her without a man in her life. In fact, she overlaps them; Can’t dump one until she finds another. She thinks jealousy is some form of love and thinks giving a blow job can end any fight (well I guess it would). She’s self defined selfish, but been through some rough times. Hard to hate her, hard to love her, but she’s fun to party with. Conversations with her consist of drunken memories, what she’s NOT getting out of her man and advice she asks for but never takes.
THE PARTY ANIMAL
Shit who am I kidding? There’s a little bit of this girl in all of us.
THE BABY OF THE FAMILY
In the beginning she annoys you because she’s your friends little sister. Too young to play with the big girls! She just wanted to hang out because we were so cool, but too cool for her! After awhile she becomes the little sister we want to protect and then before long, we’re suddenly annoying her because she turns out to be so hip, modern and cool that we want to be just like her! Conversations with her simply make you feel young again.
THE KNOW IT ALL
Her interests become obsessions real quick. She's the friend that starts a diet and suddenly knows everything about calorie counting and wants you to know it as well. She gets a dog and suddenly is a certified trainer. She renovates a kitchen and has to talk about the details and product quality for 3 hours straight. She takes up golfing and suddenly feels the need to give Tiger some pointers. Conversations with her are mostly one sided.
THE DROP OUT
She disappears from the face of the Earth. We worry…. She returns. We forgive.
THE GIRL YOU SECRETLY WISH YOU COULD BE
We all have a friend that just exudes beauty and grace. She’s gorgeous, but not vein. She speaks motivating words and lives an inspiring life. She’s educated, grateful, somewhat secluded and has a free spirit. You don’t see her often, but the times you do are fun and memorable. She’s got her quirks, but even her quirks are cool. Conversations with her are sexual. (just kidding)
THE BAD DRUNK
You know the one! You can tell the exact moment she’s had one too many. And it isn’t because she just tried to make out with your husband. That's her normal, but it’s when she gets that look. The look that makes you say “oh shit. Here we go.” You can see it in her eyes she’s going to blow! You say one wrong thing and her head is gonna spin around 360 degrees while she spits pea soup from her possessed mouth. Your only choice is to stay far far away or to knock her drunk a++ out. Conversations with her are impossible.
SHE’S NOT FROM AROUND THESE HERE PARTS.
The new girl; The girl from the country. Doesn’t drink much or do any drugs…ever. Sensitive yet strong. Devoted wife who pretends her husband rules the roost, but I know when it comes down to it, she’s really in charge! She volunteers more time in a week to charity then I do in several months! She never forgets a greeting card on any special occasion and has a skill for listening. She’s a coupon cuttin’, Bible fearing homemaker with a southern drawl and a heart of gold. Conversations with her are refreshing!
THEN THERE IS ME….
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned…..
Ok, so those are lyrics from a Natasha Bedingfield song…. you caught me.
But seriously, in my continuous effort for seeking self awareness, I have become a thinker; an analyst and somewhat of a critic as you can plainly see. One thing I have always been proud of is my network of friends. I love my girls. I just want to be clear on that. But I seem to be seeing them different lately. I have this thirst to know myself better which has led me to craving a clearer knowledge of those who I associate with.
Am I judging my friends or am I seeking my own truth through analyzing them?
I can say this, every single person I call "friend" has something very special in the depth of their spirit. Every single person I have chosen as a friend has made me laugh until my face hurts on several occasions. No one is perfect and as I write this I realize that it is not about them, the things I seem to be picking apart…it is about me and what I am able to accept and look past. It is about friendship and love, conflict and resolution. It is about learning through interaction with people that will only help me in my journey towards awareness.
I will pick my battles and not bother with that which I cannot change, but focus on changing what I can, like the bad drunk who tries to make out with my husband!