I watched my son walk down the trail from school toward my awaiting mom mobile as I have done hundreds of times over the years. But this time was different. In his hands was a small book that he flipped through as he walked. He wore a somewhat foreign grin on his face; a look I have not seen yet in the 11 years of being this boys mother.
He gets in the car and his foreign grin morphed into something even more foreign and almost scary. An expression that showed a mixture of playful, vicious, tricky, curious and Shrek Donkey like! Or maybe that donkey on Hee-Haa.
So I say, "What's up? How was your day?"
He flashes a page of his little book at me.
An illustrated picture of a male body.
This explains the expression on my boy's face. Discover your body day at school.
Before I go on, I must say that my son and I have already had the age appropriate discussion about body parts and sex. I am proud of the relationship we have and his comfort level with talking to me about things. I try my very best to keep the lines of communication open and not look or act shocked when he says things like.....
"We learned about ejaculation and wet dreams today. Those are two things you never told me about Mom..."
Talk about a kid making his mother blush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
50 shades of red in like a mili-second....
I very quickly reminded myself that I want my son to be able to talk to me about anything and to act shocked in this moment will only embarrass him and make him reluctant to feel free to discuss whatever is on his mind.
"Well Tyler, thank goodness for school because they can teach you things I may forget to mention." I say.
But what I am really thinking is "Isn't the fact that I answered your question about masturbation 6 months ago good enough to cover me for the next century???!!!!"
So I listened with an open mind as he talked about his male parts and what they do and about male hygiene and how it's time for him to start wearing deodorant. He shows me the little sample they gave him in his "Discover your body" gift bag.
Why? Oh why....did it have to be old spice? I'd hate to be the teacher in the 5th grade classroom today after all those little boys put on Grandpa pit juice.
Anyway, I think I did pretty well listening and responding to my son, even though I was mortified and quite uncomfortable, I don't think it showed. The common phrase I use with my son is:
"Information is not Permission." (I think I'll patent that!)
So this helps me get through really tough questions, like the one about masturbation. But nothing could prepare a mother for being asked a question like the one which ended last nights discussion...
"Mom, ejaculation is what boys do. But girls do something similar, it's called an orgasm right? But how does that happen when they just kind of lay there?"
I told him we would revisit that question at a WAY later date.
WAY, WAY, WAY later................